Every Show

I watched it. I watched the whole thing. Forty minutes! FORTY MINUTES on a chair.

Let me walk you through it, because the margins are the part that should keep him up at night.

And here's where I get disrespectful, because somebody has to.

Now. Let me be clear, because people take what I say and they run with it.

Good evening and welcome back to Inside the FBCU. We draft tomorrow night, eight thirty eastern. Normally this is where we argue about who's taking who, and we'll get there. But the Records Department pulled every draft this league has ever held, and they came back with something none of us expected.

Put the paper up, Ernie.

Dennis Coticelli. Four seasons. His draft slot in 23-24 — ninth. In 24-25 — ninth. In 25-26 — ninth. And tomorrow night, for 26-27, he picks...

Say it.

Ninth.

That's not a draft slot. That's an address.

And before anybody writes in — this order isn't assigned. It's drawn. Every year a group of these guys get on a call, somebody spins a random wheel, and that's the board. There's no committee. There's no commissioner handing out seats.

So it's worse.

It's worse. Because if a person were doing it, you could at least be angry at the person. This is a wheel. The odds of landing the same slot four consecutive times at random are one in one thousand seven hundred and twenty-eight.

The WHEEL has it out for him. You understand what I'm saying? Four spins. Four nines. That wheel knows something.

Shaq, it's a wheel.

It's a wheel with a memory.

Here's where it gets complicated, though. We started pulling this expecting to find a man getting robbed. That's not what we found.

All three worked. Haliburton at fifty a night for sixty-nine games is a top-ten fantasy season. Tatum at forty-eight for seventy-two is the same. And Sabonis looks like the weak one on paper until you remember what he turned into.

He flipped him for WEMBY.

Mid-season. Sabonis, Butler and Jaren Jackson to Tampa for Wembanyama, Grayson Allen and Naz Reid. And then every single player Dom brought in got hurt almost immediately.

That's the trade that ended Dom's season! That's the one! I was on this desk saying it was a king's ransom and within a week Tampa was a hospital ward.

So the ninth pick turned into Wemby. Through a trade that wrecked somebody else's year.

So wait. Hold on. You're telling me this man gets the ninth seat four years running, and he's turned it into Haliburton, Tatum and Victor Wembanyama — and he's still never won anything?

Second, third, second. Thirty-seven and nineteen career. No ring.

That's WORSE than being robbed, Kenny! If the seat was the problem I could explain it to him! This man has done everything right from a chair a wheel keeps putting him in and he's got nothing.

We reached out. He hasn't responded.

He's typing.

The Records Department also pulled every first-round pick in league history. Three drafts, thirty-six picks, up on the board now.

Look at the top row.

Jokić first overall in all three drafts. Three different managers. Not one of them won a title with him.

Declan took him and didn't win. Liam took him and didn't win. Kevin took him and traded him away. That's the most cursed line on this entire board.

Seven players have been first-rounders every single year — Jokić, Giannis, Dončić, Gilgeous-Alexander, Edwards, LeBron and Sabonis.

And then look across row nine. Haliburton, Tatum, Sabonis. Three straight years, same seat, three players who all produced.

Row nine is the saddest row in sports.

And look at LeBron. Tenth, eighth, twelfth. Drafted every single year and never once before the back half of the round.

Everybody wants LeBron. Nobody wants to pay for LeBron.

Rich has improved every single year. Eleventh, tenth, third, and now the number one overall pick. Nobody else in this league has a line that clean.

Sit with that for a second. The man who spent a year telling anybody who'd listen that this league is rigged — the reports, the accusations, the towns — has had his draft position improve four years running until he landed first overall.

He's been hunting a conspiracy with a flashlight while standing in the middle of one.

Kevin's line is the one that should scare people. Four, two, one, two. That's the best average draft position in the history of this league and it is not close. And he's got one playoff appearance.

ONE. From Dončić, Wembanyama and Jokić in consecutive years.

In fairness, last season was the breakthrough. Playoffs, the highest regular season score this league has ever recorded, and a semifinal loss by forty-nine. He's not wasting it anymore.

And then the champion. Second, third, fifth, sixth. Worse every single year, back-to-back titles at the end of it.

Worse seats, better rings. I don't know what to do with that.

I know exactly what to do with it. It means this draft matters less than everybody in this league thinks it does.

And Liam. Tenth, first, twelfth, eleventh. He had the number one overall pick in this league two years ago and took Jokić with it.

And we spent last season calling him a fraud. Both things are true.

Ernie, one more thing off this graphic, and I only noticed it an hour ago. Split the board by conference.

Hold on.

The East has the first four picks in this draft. All of them. The West doesn't have a single pick in the top four, and its average slot is eight and a half against the East's four and a half.

The West got ROBBED. Ernie, the West got robbed and nobody's said a word about it.

Here's the part that makes it strange. Conferences get randomized every year. The draft order gets drawn separately, on that wheel. Two independent draws, and they landed like that. It's about a one in seventeen result.

That wheel again.

I'm telling you, somebody needs to look at that wheel.

We're going to do a full show on it. Conferences, the rival matchups, and what all of it does to the race for a first-round bye — that's next week, once everybody's actually got a roster.

And it matters more than people think. Six teams make the playoffs, division winners take the top two seeds, and those two get a week off in the first round. That's the prize nobody talks about in October.

Six guys in that East drafting at the top of the board, fighting each other for one bye. And the West gets the other one with the bottom half of the draft. Tell me that's fair.

It might be the most important structural thing in this league and we've never once covered it properly.

Next week. Write it down.

The people upstairs put a mock together for tomorrow night. They didn't ask us, and I'm told nobody up there is happy about it either. Roll it.

I got problems. Several problems.

Start at two.

Kevin taking Wembanyama. Again. Do y'all understand this man's history with this player? He took Wemby second overall in 24-25. Then last year he took Jokić first overall, and then he traded Jokić away and got Wemby back. Now the board's got him going right back to the same guy. Three drafts, same man, every time.

At some point that's not a strategy, that's a relationship.

And I'd push back on the pick itself, not the pattern. Wembanyama's games played the last three years: seventy-one, forty-six, sixty-four. That's sixty percent durability. If you're taking him second overall you're paying full price for a player who's missed meaningful time in two of three seasons.

Which brings me to five, and this is the one that's crazy.

Declan taking Giannis.

Giannis played thirty-six games last season. THIRTY-SIX. And this board has him going fifth overall like nothing happened.

Sixty-seven, sixty-three, seventy-three, sixty-seven, and then thirty-six. That last number isn't a blip in a pattern, it's a break in one. Sixty-one percent durability over five seasons.

But when he plays he's a top-three fantasy player. That's the whole argument. You're not drafting games, you're drafting weeks.

Shaq, you can't win weeks with a man in a suit!

You can if he gives you fifty-seven a night in the ones he plays!

Both of you are right, and that's exactly why it's shaky at five.

And this is his second straight year taking him.

It is, and he's the third different manager to invest a top-five pick in Giannis. Xander drafted him second overall in 23-24 and traded him to Dom midseason. Dom drafted him fifth the next year. Declan took him fourth last season. That player has been a first-round pick for three different teams in three drafts and nobody's won a title with him yet.

He's a rental. A fifty-seven-point-a-night rental.

And if that pick goes wrong it goes very wrong, and Declan's the one manager who can't afford a dead first-rounder with that schedule.

Six. The champion.

I have no idea.

None of us do. That's the honest answer. The board says Jalen Johnson and I wouldn't bet a dollar on it.

This is a man whose draft slot has gotten worse four years running and who's won the last two titles. He don't need the obvious pick. He's taken Luka twice, he took Giannis once, and every one of those was the safe play — but that was when he was picking second and third. Sitting at six? I think he does something nobody expects.

And if it's Jalen Johnson, understand what that is. Johnson's games played go twenty-two, seventy, fifty-six, thirty-six, seventy-two. That's fifty-one percent durability, the worst number on this entire board. Coming off seventy-two games, but still.

So the champ's projected pick is the shakiest player in the first round. That tracks, actually. Man's never needed to care where he picks.

One more. Eight.

Gaven getting Edwards. First pick of his life.

And here's what nobody's saying — Edwards has the best durability number of anybody in this first round. Seventy-two, seventy-nine, seventy-nine, seventy-nine, sixty-one. Seventy-four percent. If this board is right, the new guy gets the healthiest star available with the eighth pick.

That's not fair. That is not fair to the rest of this league.

And nine is the one I'd bet on, not against. Dennis taking Tatum. Because this isn't a projection, this is a man and his guy.

Walk through it.

Three seasons. In 23-24 Nik drafted Tatum and Dennis traded for him before Christmas. In 24-25 he drafted him himself, ninth overall. And last season Nik had him again on a twelfth-round flyer, and Dennis got him back late, after the Achilles, with sixteen games left. He's at an average draft position of nine point eight right now, which is exactly where Dennis picks. Nobody should be surprised when it happens.

He went and got that man THREE TIMES.

That's not roster construction, that's a custody battle.

And eleven. Liam.

Oh, I've been waiting.

Say it.

The man has drafted LeBron James twice. Tenth overall in 23-24. Twelfth overall in 25-26. And the board's got him taking Maxey, which — fine, sure. But you and I both know what's gonna happen.

LeBron's at an ADP of thirty-three this year. Nobody should be spending a first-round pick on him.

Kenny. Kenny. Nobody should have the last two times either.

If that man takes LeBron in the first round a third time I'm walking off this set.

If he takes LeBron a third time it becomes a bit. At that point I respect it. That's commitment.

Before we go — what are we hearing?

Quieter than you'd expect, honestly. There's been movement. Multiple managers have taken calls about moving up or down in this draft. Nothing has closed.

Nothing? With this group? That's not quiet, that's suspicious.

Everybody likes their board the night before. That's why nothing closes. Ask 'em again Saturday morning when half of 'em hate their team.

That's actually right. The trade market in this league doesn't open until people see what they got.

Three managers have told us they want to see their roster before they do anything. So expect the phones to start Saturday, not tonight.

That's the board. Rich at one with four straight years of improvement behind him. Kevin at two with the best draft capital this league has ever handed anybody and one playoff trip. Tom back at three after two years gone. The champion at six, picking worse every year and winning anyway. And Dennis in the ninth chair for the fourth consecutive season, having done absolutely nothing wrong.

Tomorrow night the board starts moving and all of this becomes theory.

That's when it gets good.

Somebody reaches in the first round. Somebody always reaches. We'll put their name on a graphic Saturday.

Draft night, tomorrow, eight thirty eastern. Full coverage and grades this weekend. For Kenny Smith, Charles Barkley and Shaquille O'Neal, I'm Ernie Johnson. Somebody check that wheel.

IT'S BACK. IT'S BACK, ERNIE. Six months. SIX MONTHS I been sitting in that house with nothing to argue about.

Six months of silence. You know how long that is? I had to start watching baseball, Ernie. Baseball.

Good evening and welcome back to Inside the FBCU. I'm Ernie Johnson, and yes — it has been just about six months since Xander lifted that trophy and this league went dark. We are two days from a draft.

Two days. And I'll be honest with you, I've been looking at these rosters since July. There's no offseason for me. I just sit there with a spreadsheet and a problem.

That's sad, Kenny.

It is sad. And I'd do it again.

Can I say something? I missed these people. I missed all of 'em. I missed talking trash about guys who can't hear me. I missed Nik getting mad. I missed Rich filing paperwork. I have been waiting.

Well, the wait is over. Last season gave us the first back-to-back champion in the history of this league, the worst record ever recorded, a trade half this league still hasn't forgiven, and a final decided by twenty-six points. Gentlemen — one word on the year we just had.

Compressed. Eight teams fighting for four spots in week sixteen.

Violent.

Fraudulent. And I'll tell you exactly who I mean later.

Then let's get into it.

Gekyume's Balls won it. Xander, back to back, four straight finals appearances. He closed the regular season on eleven consecutive wins and then beat Dennis in the final, sixteen nineteen to fifteen ninety-three.

And I want to be precise about that final, because it's the whole story of last season. Dennis had Nikola Jokić — the best fantasy player in basketball, the guy he'd traded for midseason. Jokić went out and scored two hundred and eighty-three points in a championship week.

Two eighty-three. In the finals.

And he still lost. Because on the other side, Xander's best player that week was Luka at one eighty-three. Nobody on his roster broke two hundred. He won a championship without a single monster performance, just eight guys all showing up at once.

That's what's terrifying about that team. There's no one guy to stop. You can have the best player alive and it doesn't matter, because he's got no holes anywhere.

And he picked fifth. Fifth pick, no Jokić, and he beat the man who had him.

Three other things from last year that carry into this one. Rich went 13-6, finished third, and then lost a semifinal by three hundred and twenty-one points coming off a bye. Kevin made the playoffs for the first time in his career and lost a semifinal by forty-nine. And CJ went from a one percent chance of making the postseason to five straight wins and a berth.

Every one of those men is back. That's what makes this year interesting.

Three managers from last season aren't in this draft, and the reasons are different in each case.

Start with Dineen. He wasn't asked back. He went inactive in the second half of last season, and the week he beat Rich he did it while not managing his roster at all.

That's what gets you. Not losing. Not showing up. You got nineteen weeks and eleven other people counting on you to play 'em straight.

Panz is different, and I think this is worth saying clearly, because people have been speculating. He was asked back. The commissioner offered him the spot.

But the ask came with a condition — commit to the season. And he couldn't make that commitment, so the offer didn't go through. That's not a punishment. That's a man being honest about what he could give.

I respect that more than I'd respect him limping through another two and seventeen. If you know you can't do it, say you can't do it.

And the third is Bryan, who didn't pay his buy-in.

Yeah. That one's simple. Everybody else put their money in the pot.

Man pulled a reverse Ballmer. Steve Ballmer wrote a check for two billion dollars for a basketball team. This man couldn't find a hundred.

It's a shame on the floor, because he was second in the league in points scored. But trust is the whole thing in a money league, and once that's gone, it's gone.

Three chairs empty, three new people in them. Let's meet the field.

If you're new to this league, this is the part to pay attention to. Twelve teams, twelve managers, and every one of them has a name that was earned rather than assigned. Kenny, walk us through it.

We'll start with the champion. Gekyume's Balls, run by Xander. Back to back, four straight finals, and a career record of thirty-nine and seventeen, which is the best this league has ever produced. Last year we called him The Wolf. That's retired, because it never meant anything. This year he's The Blueprint — every manager in this league is now running some version of something he did first. The constant trading, the IR stashing, the long-game roster building. You don't get named after a nickname. You get named after what people copy.

That's your name for him. Mine's different. The House. As in, the house always wins, and he also happens to own the house. He runs this league and he keeps winning it. I'm not saying it's a crime. I'm saying it's a pattern.

I'm with Chuck on this one. You don't beat the house. You just leave with less than you walked in with.

Both names are on the board. Next.

Richard Milles Milles, run by Rich. He won the thing in 2024. Thirty-eight and eighteen, and he has never missed a playoff in his life. He's Mr. Consistent, and there was talk of changing it this year. There shouldn't have been. When a name is that accurate you leave it alone.

Compton Wife Beaters, run by Dennis. Thirty-seven and nineteen. Second place, third place, second place. Never won. And all three times he was eliminated, it was by the same man.

Give him the name, Ernie.

He's The Prince.

Oh, that's good.

And I want to explain why, because it matters. A prince isn't a loser. A prince is next in line. He's got the best resume of any manager in this league without a ring, and the only thing between him and the crown is one specific person. That's not a sad story. That's a succession.

The Prince trying to beat The House. We got a season already and we haven't drafted yet.

Polak, run by Kevin. He made the playoffs for the first time last year. He also put up one thousand eight hundred and twenty-two points in week seventeen, which is the highest regular season score this league has ever recorded. And then he lost a semifinal he led by two hundred.

That's where the name comes from. He got rope-a-doped. Punched himself out while the other man covered up, and got caught in the back half of the week.

So he's Foreman. And when we're being serious, he's The Contender, because he has the heaviest hands in this league and nothing on his mantle.

Kevsyphus is dead, by the way. Nobody knew what it meant. I didn't know what it meant and I said it on television for a year.

Oh My Goodness Valentine, run by Declan. Twenty-five and thirty-one career, and he faced the hardest schedule in the league last season by nine hundred and fifty points. He also ended three separate undefeated streaks.

That's the Boogeyman. I don't care what his record says. You look at your schedule, you see his name, and the whole week feels different. He ain't always good. He's always dangerous.

Giant Slayer stays as the earned one. Sleepy D is retired. That never fit a man who beat three undefeated teams.

Turning Point USA, run by Nik. Twenty-eight and twenty-eight career. Exactly even.

Exactly even. Four years of campaigning and shouting and cursing out television personalities, and the man is a coin flip.

He stays The Candidate. And Shaq named him The Filibuster on this show last season, so that one's official now.

I did say that. I forgot I said that.

Modello Time, run by Liam. Nineteen and thirty-seven, which is the worst career record of any manager with three seasons here. Started last year six and oh and missed the playoffs.

THIS. Ernie, this is who I meant. You asked me for one word about last season and I said fraudulent, and everybody at this desk looked at me like I was being dramatic. I was not being dramatic. I was being specific.

Here we go.

Six and oh. SIX AND OH. Everybody in this league is calling him a contender in October. We're sitting right here talking about his ceiling. And then he goes nineteen and thirty-seven over three seasons, misses the playoffs with the hottest start in the league, and loses on the final day to a man who wasn't even logging in.

That's the part that's hard to defend. The talent was there. The management wasn't.

That's what the word means. A fraud isn't somebody who's bad. Everybody respects somebody who's bad and knows it. A fraud is somebody who looks like the real thing right up until the moment it counts. That's the whole definition.

And here's what we learned this week. We've been calling him an insurance guy for two seasons. He isn't. He's an auditor, sitting for the CIA exam.

The what?

Certified Internal Auditor.

Mm-hmm. Sure it is.

Shaq. Don't.

So the name comes from his own profession. In auditing, when there's substantial doubt that an entity can keep operating, you flag it as a going concern. Every season, right around week eleven, this panel has flagged exactly that.

He's The Going Concern. And when he drops a week he had no business dropping, that's a material weakness — a control failure severe enough that errors don't get caught. Which is the technical term for not using your waivers.

That's the meanest thing ever said on this program and it came out of Kenny.

Tampa Jits, run by Dom. Twenty-nine and twenty-seven. Drafted a superteam last year and watched eight players get hurt at once in week five, which produced a six hundred and forty-six point week.

Ghost of Tampa stays. One of the best names we ever came up with.

And the curse gets its own name now, because every single player he traded for last season got hurt on arrival. He's Patient Zero.

Steven Hawkings Pit Crew, run by CJ. Fourteen and twenty-four career, but the shape is what matters: four and fifteen, then ten and nine and a playoff berth from one percent odds. Youngest manager in this league. Also the tallest.

Growth Spurt. That's the name. Covers the height, covers the age, covers the fact that he's gotten better every year he's been here. And I picked against that kid every single week of his win streak and I was wrong every single time.

The Prodigy stays for when we're being serious. The Underclassman is retired. He's a three-year veteran.

Tom's Reilies, run by Tom. And this one surprised us. He went three and fifteen in 2024, disappeared for two full seasons, and returns Friday with the third overall pick.

Three and fifteen and he comes back to a top-three seat? Who'd he call?

He's The Revenant. The word means one who returns. He's not new. He's resuming.

And that leaves two. Osama Bin Ballin, run by Gaven, drafting eighth. Straw Hat Pirates, run by Matthew Kolano, drafting twelfth. Neither has a nickname, a philosophy or a tagline, and neither is getting one from this desk until they earn it on the floor.

That's deliberate, and it's the most interesting thing about this season to me. We haven't had a blank page in this league in two years.

Can I say something about these two, though? Because we spent the first ten minutes of this show talking about guys who didn't show up. Two seats opened because people went quiet. And these two? They ain't even drafted yet and they're the loudest people in that group chat.

It's true, and I don't say nice things, so enjoy it. Both of 'em have been in there every single day. And Gaven's already talking smack. Hasn't played a game. Hasn't drafted a player. Already talking.

And Kolano's talking more than him\! The twelfth pick is the loudest man in the building and the draft hasn't happened.

And that's a real signal. I know it's not a stat, but I've been doing this a long time — engagement in October is the single best predictor of whether somebody's still managing their roster in February. You can teach strategy. You can't teach caring.

Both of them came in and immediately treated this like it mattered.

That's all you can ask. You don't gotta be good right away. Nobody's good right away. Just be there. And they been there.

If the early indicators hold, I think these are going to be two good teams and two good members, and I mean that. We're genuinely excited to get to know these guys.

Which brings me to my prediction. I'm making it right now, before anybody's drafted a single player. Kolano makes the playoffs. First year, twelfth pick, nobody's ever heard of him. He's in.

Six of twelve make the playoffs, Chuck. That's a coin flip. That's not a prediction, that's a weather report.

Fine. Fine\! He makes the playoffs and he finishes ahead of somebody who's been in this league three years. How's that? That specific enough for you?

Now you've done it.

He does this every year. Last year it was Dineen, and he was wrong for nineteen straight weeks.

Yeah, but last year I was betting on a man who stopped logging in. This year I'm betting on somebody who hasn't stopped talking. That's a different bet.

That's the most reasonable thing you ever said on this program.

Don't get used to it.

Friday night, eight thirty eastern. Here's how it goes.

Rich at one is the headline. He's gone eleventh, tenth, third, and now first. Four straight years of improvement, ending at the top of the board.

Which is hilarious for reasons we're spending an entire episode on tomorrow night.

Ernie, say the thing.

Dennis drafts ninth.

Say how many times.

All four seasons this league has existed.

ALL FOUR.

Tomorrow. Full episode, nothing but the draft order and what the Records Department pulled. Bring a notepad.

And look at where the champion is picking. Sixth. His slot has gone second, third, fifth, sixth — worse every single year he's been in this league — and he's won the last two titles from the back half of the board.

The house don't need a good seat. That's the whole point of being the house.

So that's where we stand, two days out. Xander is going for three straight, and nobody had ever won two in a row before he did it. Dennis is making his fourth run at the same door. Rich holds the number one pick and a theory about who's rigging this thing. Kevin has the hardest punch in the league and nothing to show for it. Declan is somewhere on your schedule. And two men nobody has a nickname for are about to find out what this league does to new people.

Twelve managers. Nineteen weeks. One trophy.

And a thousand dollars.

And Kolano makes the playoffs. Write it down. Put a date on it.

Tomorrow night we're back with the Draft Order Special. The Records Department has been digging through every draft this league has ever held, and what they found is going to make at least one man in this league very uncomfortable. We'll also go seat by seat and speculate on who each manager takes Friday — who's reaching, who's got a plan, and who's about to get the player he shouldn't.

That's the fun part. Two days out, everybody still thinks their board is right.

Everybody's undefeated right now.

Not for long.

Welcome back, everybody. It has been a long six months and we are glad to be sitting here again. For Kenny Smith, Charles Barkley and Shaquille O'Neal, I'm Ernie Johnson. The 2026-27 FBCU season starts now.