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Inside the FBCU, from the top. 2 pieces.

  1. THE BLUEPRINT ERAInside the FBCU
  2. The Ninth Seat Is Not a Coincidence AnymoreWoj

THE BLUEPRINT ERA

Last season recapped, the register set, and the board revealed.

Cold open. Dark studio. A single highlight reel runs without commentary.

Jokić dropping 337 in a Christmas week. Kevin's roster putting up 1,822 and losing. Four of Bryan's players going inactive on the same Sunday afternoon. CJ at one percent, winning five straight. Panz staring at a 2-17 season. And at the end of all of it, one man holding a trophy for the second year in a row.

The reel cuts. Theme hits hard. Lights up on the desk. All four men are already talking over each other.

Shaqloud, over the music

IT'S BACK. IT'S BACK, ERNIE. Six months. SIX MONTHS I been sitting in that house with nothing to argue about.

Chuck

Six months of silence. You know how long that is? I had to start watching baseball, Ernie. Baseball.

Ernielaughing

Good evening and welcome back to Inside the FBCU. I'm Ernie Johnson, and yes — it has been just about six months since Xander lifted that trophy and this league went dark. We are two days from a draft.

Kenny

Two days. And I'll be honest with you, I've been looking at these rosters since July. There's no offseason for me. I just sit there with a spreadsheet and a problem.

Shaq

That's sad, Kenny.

Kenny

It is sad. And I'd do it again.

Chuck

Can I say something? I missed these people. I missed all of 'em. I missed talking trash about guys who can't hear me. I missed Nik getting mad. I missed Rich filing paperwork. I have been waiting.

Ernie

Well, the wait is over. Last season gave us the first back-to-back champion in the history of this league, the worst record ever recorded, a trade half this league still hasn't forgiven, and a final decided by twenty-six points. Gentlemen — one word on the year we just had.

Kenny

Compressed. Eight teams fighting for four spots in week sixteen.

Shaq

Violent.

Chuck

Fraudulent. And I'll tell you exactly who I mean later.

Ernie

Then let's get into it.


Ernie

Gekyume's Balls won it. Xander, back to back, four straight finals appearances. He closed the regular season on eleven consecutive wins and then beat Dennis in the final, sixteen nineteen to fifteen ninety-three.

Kenny

And I want to be precise about that final, because it's the whole story of last season. Dennis had Nikola Jokić — the best fantasy player in basketball, the guy he'd traded for midseason. Jokić went out and scored two hundred and eighty-three points in a championship week.

Shaq

Two eighty-three. In the finals.

Kenny

And he still lost. Because on the other side, Xander's best player that week was Luka at one eighty-three. Nobody on his roster broke two hundred. He won a championship without a single monster performance, just eight guys all showing up at once.

Chuck

That's what's terrifying about that team. There's no one guy to stop. You can have the best player alive and it doesn't matter, because he's got no holes anywhere.

Shaq

And he picked fifth. Fifth pick, no Jokić, and he beat the man who had him.

Ernie

Three other things from last year that carry into this one. Rich went 13-6, finished third, and then lost a semifinal by three hundred and twenty-one points coming off a bye. Kevin made the playoffs for the first time in his career and lost a semifinal by forty-nine. And CJ went from a one percent chance of making the postseason to five straight wins and a berth.

Kenny

Every one of those men is back. That's what makes this year interesting.


Ernie

Three managers from last season aren't in this draft, and the reasons are different in each case.

Kenny

Start with Dineen. He wasn't asked back. He went inactive in the second half of last season, and the week he beat Rich he did it while not managing his roster at all.

Shaq

That's what gets you. Not losing. Not showing up. You got nineteen weeks and eleven other people counting on you to play 'em straight.

Ernie

Panz is different, and I think this is worth saying clearly, because people have been speculating. He was asked back. The commissioner offered him the spot.

Kenny

But the ask came with a condition — commit to the season. And he couldn't make that commitment, so the offer didn't go through. That's not a punishment. That's a man being honest about what he could give.

Chuck

I respect that more than I'd respect him limping through another two and seventeen. If you know you can't do it, say you can't do it.

Ernie

And the third is Bryan, who didn't pay his buy-in.

Chuck

Yeah. That one's simple. Everybody else put their money in the pot.

Shaq

Man pulled a reverse Ballmer. Steve Ballmer wrote a check for two billion dollars for a basketball team. This man couldn't find a hundred.

Desk laughs.

Kenny

It's a shame on the floor, because he was second in the league in points scored. But trust is the whole thing in a money league, and once that's gone, it's gone.

Ernie

Three chairs empty, three new people in them. Let's meet the field.

Ernie

If you're new to this league, this is the part to pay attention to. Twelve teams, twelve managers, and every one of them has a name that was earned rather than assigned. Kenny, walk us through it.

Graphic: THE REGISTER — 2026-27

Kenny

We'll start with the champion. Gekyume's Balls, run by Xander. Back to back, four straight finals, and a career record of thirty-nine and seventeen, which is the best this league has ever produced. Last year we called him The Wolf. That's retired, because it never meant anything. This year he's The Blueprint — every manager in this league is now running some version of something he did first. The constant trading, the IR stashing, the long-game roster building. You don't get named after a nickname. You get named after what people copy.

Chuck

That's your name for him. Mine's different. The House. As in, the house always wins, and he also happens to own the house. He runs this league and he keeps winning it. I'm not saying it's a crime. I'm saying it's a pattern.

Shaq

I'm with Chuck on this one. You don't beat the house. You just leave with less than you walked in with.

Ernie

Both names are on the board. Next.

Kenny

Richard Milles Milles, run by Rich. He won the thing in 2024. Thirty-eight and eighteen, and he has never missed a playoff in his life. He's Mr. Consistent, and there was talk of changing it this year. There shouldn't have been. When a name is that accurate you leave it alone.

Ernie

Compton Wife Beaters, run by Dennis. Thirty-seven and nineteen. Second place, third place, second place. Never won. And all three times he was eliminated, it was by the same man.

Chuck

Give him the name, Ernie.

Ernie

He's The Prince.

Pause at the desk.

Shaq

Oh, that's good.

Kenny

And I want to explain why, because it matters. A prince isn't a loser. A prince is next in line. He's got the best resume of any manager in this league without a ring, and the only thing between him and the crown is one specific person. That's not a sad story. That's a succession.

Chuck

The Prince trying to beat The House. We got a season already and we haven't drafted yet.

Kenny

Polak, run by Kevin. He made the playoffs for the first time last year. He also put up one thousand eight hundred and twenty-two points in week seventeen, which is the highest regular season score this league has ever recorded. And then he lost a semifinal he led by two hundred.

Shaq

That's where the name comes from. He got rope-a-doped. Punched himself out while the other man covered up, and got caught in the back half of the week.

Kenny

So he's Foreman. And when we're being serious, he's The Contender, because he has the heaviest hands in this league and nothing on his mantle.

Chuck

Kevsyphus is dead, by the way. Nobody knew what it meant. I didn't know what it meant and I said it on television for a year.

Ernie

Oh My Goodness Valentine, run by Declan. Twenty-five and thirty-one career, and he faced the hardest schedule in the league last season by nine hundred and fifty points. He also ended three separate undefeated streaks.

Shaq

That's the Boogeyman. I don't care what his record says. You look at your schedule, you see his name, and the whole week feels different. He ain't always good. He's always dangerous.

Kenny

Giant Slayer stays as the earned one. Sleepy D is retired. That never fit a man who beat three undefeated teams.

Ernie

Turning Point USA, run by Nik. Twenty-eight and twenty-eight career. Exactly even.

Chuck

Exactly even. Four years of campaigning and shouting and cursing out television personalities, and the man is a coin flip.

Kenny

He stays The Candidate. And Shaq named him The Filibuster on this show last season, so that one's official now.

Shaq

I did say that. I forgot I said that.

Ernie

Modello Time, run by Liam. Nineteen and thirty-seven, which is the worst career record of any manager with three seasons here. Started last year six and oh and missed the playoffs.

Chucksitting up

THIS. Ernie, this is who I meant. You asked me for one word about last season and I said fraudulent, and everybody at this desk looked at me like I was being dramatic. I was not being dramatic. I was being specific.

Shaq

Here we go.

Chuck

Six and oh. SIX AND OH. Everybody in this league is calling him a contender in October. We're sitting right here talking about his ceiling. And then he goes nineteen and thirty-seven over three seasons, misses the playoffs with the hottest start in the league, and loses on the final day to a man who wasn't even logging in.

Kenny

That's the part that's hard to defend. The talent was there. The management wasn't.

Chuck

That's what the word means. A fraud isn't somebody who's bad. Everybody respects somebody who's bad and knows it. A fraud is somebody who looks like the real thing right up until the moment it counts. That's the whole definition.

Kenny

And here's what we learned this week. We've been calling him an insurance guy for two seasons. He isn't. He's an auditor, sitting for the CIA exam.

Shaq

The what?

Kenny

Certified Internal Auditor.

Shaq

Mm-hmm. Sure it is.

Chuck

Shaq. Don't.

Ernie

So the name comes from his own profession. In auditing, when there's substantial doubt that an entity can keep operating, you flag it as a going concern. Every season, right around week eleven, this panel has flagged exactly that.

Kenny

He's The Going Concern. And when he drops a week he had no business dropping, that's a material weakness — a control failure severe enough that errors don't get caught. Which is the technical term for not using your waivers.

Chuck

That's the meanest thing ever said on this program and it came out of Kenny.

Ernie

Tampa Jits, run by Dom. Twenty-nine and twenty-seven. Drafted a superteam last year and watched eight players get hurt at once in week five, which produced a six hundred and forty-six point week.

Shaq

Ghost of Tampa stays. One of the best names we ever came up with.

Kenny

And the curse gets its own name now, because every single player he traded for last season got hurt on arrival. He's Patient Zero.

Ernie

Steven Hawkings Pit Crew, run by CJ. Fourteen and twenty-four career, but the shape is what matters: four and fifteen, then ten and nine and a playoff berth from one percent odds. Youngest manager in this league. Also the tallest.

Chuck

Growth Spurt. That's the name. Covers the height, covers the age, covers the fact that he's gotten better every year he's been here. And I picked against that kid every single week of his win streak and I was wrong every single time.

Kenny

The Prodigy stays for when we're being serious. The Underclassman is retired. He's a three-year veteran.

Ernie

Tom's Reilies, run by Tom. And this one surprised us. He went three and fifteen in 2024, disappeared for two full seasons, and returns Friday with the third overall pick.

Shaq

Three and fifteen and he comes back to a top-three seat? Who'd he call?

Kenny

He's The Revenant. The word means one who returns. He's not new. He's resuming.

Ernie

And that leaves two. Osama Bin Ballin, run by Gaven, drafting eighth. Straw Hat Pirates, run by Matthew Kolano, drafting twelfth. Neither has a nickname, a philosophy or a tagline, and neither is getting one from this desk until they earn it on the floor.

Kenny

That's deliberate, and it's the most interesting thing about this season to me. We haven't had a blank page in this league in two years.

Shaq

Can I say something about these two, though? Because we spent the first ten minutes of this show talking about guys who didn't show up. Two seats opened because people went quiet. And these two? They ain't even drafted yet and they're the loudest people in that group chat.

Chuck

It's true, and I don't say nice things, so enjoy it. Both of 'em have been in there every single day. And Gaven's already talking smack. Hasn't played a game. Hasn't drafted a player. Already talking.

Shaqlaughing

And Kolano's talking more than him\! The twelfth pick is the loudest man in the building and the draft hasn't happened.

Kenny

And that's a real signal. I know it's not a stat, but I've been doing this a long time — engagement in October is the single best predictor of whether somebody's still managing their roster in February. You can teach strategy. You can't teach caring.

Ernie

Both of them came in and immediately treated this like it mattered.

Shaq

That's all you can ask. You don't gotta be good right away. Nobody's good right away. Just be there. And they been there.

Kenny

If the early indicators hold, I think these are going to be two good teams and two good members, and I mean that. We're genuinely excited to get to know these guys.

Chuck

Which brings me to my prediction. I'm making it right now, before anybody's drafted a single player. Kolano makes the playoffs. First year, twelfth pick, nobody's ever heard of him. He's in.

Kenny

Six of twelve make the playoffs, Chuck. That's a coin flip. That's not a prediction, that's a weather report.

Chuck

Fine. Fine\! He makes the playoffs and he finishes ahead of somebody who's been in this league three years. How's that? That specific enough for you?

Shaq

Now you've done it.

Kenny

He does this every year. Last year it was Dineen, and he was wrong for nineteen straight weeks.

Chuck

Yeah, but last year I was betting on a man who stopped logging in. This year I'm betting on somebody who hasn't stopped talking. That's a different bet.

Shaq

That's the most reasonable thing you ever said on this program.

Chuck

Don't get used to it.


Ernie

Friday night, eight thirty eastern. Here's how it goes.

Graphic: 2026-27 DRAFT ORDER

1. Rich — Richard Milles Milles
2. Kevin — Polak
3. Tom — Tom's Reilies
4. Dom — Tampa Jits
5. Declan — Oh My Goodness Valentine
6. Xander — Gekyume's Balls
7. CJ — Steven Hawkings Pit Crew
8. Gaven — Osama Bin Ballin
9. Dennis — Compton Wife Beaters
10. Nik — Turning Point USA
11. Liam — Modello Time
12. Kolano — Straw Hat Pirates
Kenny

Rich at one is the headline. He's gone eleventh, tenth, third, and now first. Four straight years of improvement, ending at the top of the board.

Chuck

Which is hilarious for reasons we're spending an entire episode on tomorrow night.

Shaq

Ernie, say the thing.

Ernie

Dennis drafts ninth.

Shaq

Say how many times.

Ernie

All four seasons this league has existed.

Shaq

ALL FOUR.

Chuck

Tomorrow. Full episode, nothing but the draft order and what the Records Department pulled. Bring a notepad.

Kenny

And look at where the champion is picking. Sixth. His slot has gone second, third, fifth, sixth — worse every single year he's been in this league — and he's won the last two titles from the back half of the board.

Chuck

The house don't need a good seat. That's the whole point of being the house.


Ernie

So that's where we stand, two days out. Xander is going for three straight, and nobody had ever won two in a row before he did it. Dennis is making his fourth run at the same door. Rich holds the number one pick and a theory about who's rigging this thing. Kevin has the hardest punch in the league and nothing to show for it. Declan is somewhere on your schedule. And two men nobody has a nickname for are about to find out what this league does to new people.

Kenny

Twelve managers. Nineteen weeks. One trophy.

Shaq

And a thousand dollars.

Chuck

And Kolano makes the playoffs. Write it down. Put a date on it.

Ernie

Tomorrow night we're back with the Draft Order Special. The Records Department has been digging through every draft this league has ever held, and what they found is going to make at least one man in this league very uncomfortable. We'll also go seat by seat and speculate on who each manager takes Friday — who's reaching, who's got a plan, and who's about to get the player he shouldn't.

Kenny

That's the fun part. Two days out, everybody still thinks their board is right.

Shaq

Everybody's undefeated right now.

Chuck

Not for long.

Ernie

Welcome back, everybody. It has been a long six months and we are glad to be sitting here again. For Kenny Smith, Charles Barkley and Shaquille O'Neal, I'm Ernie Johnson. The 2026-27 FBCU season starts now.

Theme. Shaq is still talking as the camera pulls back. Fade.


Career records, draft history and last season's results in this episode come from the league's own data via draft_history.py and fbcu.py. Nothing was remembered.

26 Comments

  • Marcus_TTop comment

    Calling someone The Going Concern because he's an auditor is genuinely the meanest thing I've read all year, and I work in audit.

    ▲ 52▼ 1
    • hoops_dad_1987

      as an accountant i laughed out loud at that one. no notes

      ▲ 9
    • unsubscribed

      its a fantasy basketball league for twelve guys. relax

      ▲ 2▼ 14
  • box_score_guy

    39-17 career and his draft slot has gotten worse every year. That's the whole story and they buried it in segment four.

    ▲ 34
    • bracketology_

      Agreed on the burial. Although a worse slot every year with two titles attached is less a story about the slot and more a story about what he does after it.

      ▲ 11
  • truthsayer_99

    four years, same guy writing the recaps, same guy winning the recaps. im just saying what everyone is thinking

    ▲ 27▼ 19
    • jenna_r

      i'm new here, is that actually suspicious or is this a bit

      ▲ 14
    • truthsayer_99

      decide for yourself

      ▲ 3▼ 8
  • swishhhhh

    didnt read. who won

    ▲ 31
  • NOTAFRAUD

    19-37 is a small sample size

    ▲ 22▼ 11
    • box_score_guy

      Fifty-six games is not a small sample.

      ▲ 48
    • NOTAFRAUD

      its 56 games out of a possible like 300. thats small

      ▲ 2▼ 17
  • hoops_dad_1987

    been following this league since year one and this is the best writeup theyve done. the register thing is a great idea

    ▲ 18
  • ballknower22

    two new guys and neither gets a nickname? weak. name them something stupid and make them earn it off

    ▲ 15
    • d_whitlock

      Nicknames are earned. That is the entire point of the register.

      ▲ 21
  • quiet_part_loud

    nobody is going to mention that the commissioner's brother is in the league and picks one spot behind him? ok cool

    ▲ 24▼ 9
  • bracketology_

    The Prince is a great name but it only works if he actually breaks through. If he loses again it just becomes sad.

    ▲ 16
    • Derek_P

      It was already sad. That's why the name works.

      ▲ 29
  • tiffanyyy_

    my boyfriend made me read this and i have no idea what any of it means but i think the one called the boogeyman should win

    ▲ 27
  • anon_4471

    why does the commissioner get two nicknames. genuine question

    ▲ 7
  • d_whitlock

    Retiring Sleepy D is a mistake. The man ended three undefeated streaks. You don't rename someone coming off that.

    ▲ 13▼ 4
  • unsubscribed

    this is four thousand words about twelve guys drafting basketball players. and i read all of it. and ill read the next one. im not happy about it

    ▲ 41
  • jenna_r

    i don't play fantasy basketball and i have now read three of these

    ▲ 22
  • greg_s_72

    Second year reading these. The jump in quality from last season is honestly nuts. Keep going.

    ▲ 12
  • Clipper_Nation

    imagine losing to this guy twice

    ▲ 19▼ 6
  • RJ_from_work

    whoever writes these should do this for an actual sport

    ▲ 14

Comments are from readers and do not reflect the views of this network.

The Ninth Seat Is Not a Coincidence Anymore

Sources say the board is set, the phones are quiet, and one manager has drafted ninth four years running.

Two days before the FBCU draft, the league's front offices are quieter than anyone expected.

Multiple managers confirmed this week that they have taken calls about moving up or down the board. None of those conversations have produced a deal. Three told this outlet, independently, that they will not discuss a trade until they see what they drafted.

"Everybody likes their board the night before," one manager said. "Ask me Saturday."

That reluctance is itself a story. This is a league that completed twenty trades last season, including a deadline deal that sent three injured starters in one direction and reshaped a championship race. The same group has gone the entire offseason without a single pick changing hands.


The more durable story is one the league has never addressed directly.

Dennis Coticelli has drafted ninth in all four seasons of the FBCU's existence. Not seventh, not eleventh. Ninth, four times, in an order drawn on a randomizing wheel over a group call.

The probability of that happening by chance is one in 1,728.

What makes it strange is that the seat has not actually failed him. He turned the ninth pick into Tyrese Haliburton in 23-24, a 50.5-point-per-game season across 69 games. He took Jayson Tatum there in 24-25 and got 48.4 across 72. Last season he drafted Domantas Sabonis ninth and flipped him midseason, with Jimmy Butler and Jaren Jackson Jr., for Victor Wembanyama — a trade that arrived in Tampa and was followed almost immediately by an injury run that ended Dominick Benedetto's season.

Three ninth picks. Three players who produced. One of them became the best young center in basketball.

And Coticelli has finished second, third, and second, without a title.

"He's the best manager in this league without a ring, and it isn't close," one rival said. "At some point you stop calling that bad luck and start calling it a pattern."


Richard Schineis holds the first overall pick, the end of a four-year climb from eleventh to tenth to third to first. He has told anyone who will listen that he intends to take Nikola Jokić, who has gone first overall in all three drafts this league has held.

Kevin Janczurewicz picks second, extending the most remarkable run of draft capital in league history. His first-round selections across three drafts are Luka Dončić, Victor Wembanyama and Nikola Jokić. He has one playoff appearance.

Thomas Reilly returns at third after two seasons away. He went 3-15 in 23-24 and has not been in a draft room since.

The reigning champion picks sixth. His slot has worsened in every season he has been in this league — second, third, fifth, now sixth — and he has won the last two titles.


One structural note that nobody in the league has raised publicly.

The East holds the first four picks in this draft. The West holds none of them. Average draft position by conference: 4.5 in the East, 8.5 in the West.

Conferences are randomized annually. The draft order is drawn separately. Two independent processes produced that split, which lands at roughly one in seventeen.

Six teams make the playoffs. The two division winners receive first-round byes. Whether the East spends the season eliminating each other while the West's path opens up is, at this point, the most consequential unanswered question of the preseason.


The FBCU draft is Friday at 8:30 p.m. Eastern.

30 Comments

  • box_score_guyTop comment

    Finally someone reports the numbers instead of making jokes for forty minutes. This is the piece I wanted.

    ▲ 41
    • Marcus_T

      The jokes are why the rest of us are here, but fair.

      ▲ 17
  • truthsayer_99

    nobody finds it suspicious that the commissioner's slot gets worse every year and he keeps winning? nobody? ok

    ▲ 38▼ 22
    • m_hernandez

      That's an argument against the rigging theory, not for it. A rigged wheel gives him a better seat, not a worse one.

      ▲ 44
    • truthsayer_99

      thats exactly what hed want you to think

      ▲ 6▼ 31
    • hoops_dad_1987

      buddy

      ▲ 51
  • m_hernandez

    Genuine question for whoever writes these: is the wheel actually random, or is it just a website somebody loads? Because those are different claims.

    ▲ 29
    • FBCU StaffStaff

      It's a randomizer run on a group call with everyone watching. Same tool every year.

    • m_hernandez

      Appreciate the straight answer. Still one in 1,728.

      ▲ 18
  • hoops_dad_1987

    three ninth picks and all three worked. at some point that stops being a story about the seat and starts being a story about the guy

    ▲ 33
  • swishhhhh

    east has 1 through 4 and we're supposed to feel bad for them

    ▲ 26
  • Clipper_Nation

    3-15 and he comes back to the third overall pick. I would like that explained to me slowly.

    ▲ 24
    • bench_mob

      He was gone two seasons. The order is drawn fresh every year, it doesn't carry over.

      ▲ 19
    • Clipper_Nation

      so leaving the league is a strategy. noted

      ▲ 37
  • Derek_P

    The Sabonis to Wembanyama trade still doesn't get enough attention. Single most consequential move in league history and it gets one paragraph.

    ▲ 21
  • NOTAFRAUD

    second and third and second is not knocking on the door its just losing in a nicer font

    ▲ 34▼ 8
    • jenna_r

      this is mean but i think it might be correct

      ▲ 28
  • FantasyFreakk

    1 in 1728 is not that rare lol. i see longer odds every sunday

    ▲ 11▼ 9
  • ballknower22

    jokic first overall three straight years is lazy drafting. take a risk once

    ▲ 8▼ 14
    • box_score_guy

      He has led the league in fantasy points every one of those years.

      ▲ 26
  • bench_mob

    good piece, one note: Haliburton at 50.5 was 23-24 not 24-25, might want to check that

    ▲ 6
    • FBCU StaffStaff

      Correct as written: Haliburton in 23-24, Tatum in 24-25.

    • bench_mob

      My mistake. Carry on.

      ▲ 14
  • unsubscribed

    paywall this and im out

    ▲ 17
  • bracketology_

    The conference split is the real story and it's buried under the wheel stuff. One division eats itself, the other walks to a bye. That decides the season.

    ▲ 23
  • jenna_r

    ok im invested now. who do i root for if i don't know anyone

    ▲ 19
    • hoops_dad_1987

      the guy whos finished 2nd 3rd and 2nd. everyone deserves one

      ▲ 24
    • Clipper_Nation

      root against the champ. its more fun

      ▲ 15
  • tiffanyyy_

    wait is the wheel a real wheel or a fake wheel

    ▲ 13
  • anon_4471

    genuine question is this a real league

    ▲ 9

Comments are from readers and do not reflect the views of this network.