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Never missed a playoff. Never stopped mentioning it.
Most funds promise a ceiling. This one promises a floor, and then turns up to the floor every week for four straight years without being asked twice.
Our founder has never missed a postseason in the history of this league. He has also never once let that fact go unmentioned in a group chat, which we regard as part of the service rather than a side effect of it.
Ask about the 82-Game Plan, our flagship product, in which nothing exciting happens to your money for nineteen consecutive weeks and you finish third.
Richard Millie's Investments bought advertising time on a programme about the league it competes in. Past performance is, in this one specific case, genuinely indicative of future results.
None of these are real. No money has ever changed hands in this league except the buy-in, and one man did not pay that.
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